WWE: Rough N' Tumble, Royal Rumble

By Migs

The WWE Royal Rumble is but 3 weeks away, and if a conversation I had with my friend and fellow wrestling afficionado Lan is any indication of what's to come, then, the so-called "WWE Universe" ought to be in for one of the more intriguing roads to Wrestlemania yet.

So Jeff Hardy, the "Charismatic Enigma" the "Battered Soul", the "Rainbow Haired Warrior", is finally the WWE Champion- but how long will he stay on top? Vince McMahon tends to treat fan favorite, 2nd tier world champions the same way- win big, lose soon. Just ask grapplers like CM Punk and Chris Jericho. Hardy, however, has a few things going his way, factors which, for all intents and purposes, point to him having a longer reign than maybe some have expected.

A perennial title contender and respected heel, Edge, will be facing Jeff Hardy for the strap at the Rumble, and while others would tend to believe that the Rated R Superstar is a sure bet to reclaim the gold he "stole" from Triple H, I say WWE Creatives want to milk the "pariah turned messiah" cow a little bit more. It wouldn't make sense to let Hardy lose the gold until 'Mania (where he'd, theoretically, face a top-tier man like Triple H, The Undertaker, or Edge, individually or collectively), but the WWE has messed up storylines before- a lost sense of faith in "fool's gold", if you will. Unless Jeff gets hurt, I say he loses at Backlash or at 'Mania, at the very least.

On the Raw front, John "I Can Too Wrestle!" Cena finds himself as the World Heavyweight Champion (sans the spinner). JBL, with Shawn Michaels in his corner, will be Cena's opponent at the Royal Rumble, and, if I had my way, I'd have JBL win the belt due to interference from Michaels. The catch? HBK tries to help Cena, but accidentally clocks him with the Superkick or a chair, which consequently sets the latter up for a JBL finisher and pin. Sounds good, eh? This would, in theory, allow WWE to make HBK turn on JBL at some point between the end of the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania such that he gets a direct shot at the World Heavyweight Title.
Whether he wins it or not eventually is anyone's guess, but then, should he win it one more time before he hangs it up, it ought to be at 'Mania and at none lesser an event. What I think WWE will do, however is this- Cena wins at the Rumble, HBK turns on JBL, JBL vs Michaels grudge match at 'Mania, Cena versus Batista or Orton at 'Mania. WWE suits aren't always that imaginative, hence the thought that the latter, more "traditional" route will be taken in this case.

As for who will emerge triumphant at the Royal Rumble, my picks would be either Randy Orton, Triple H, Batista, or heck, even HBK himself (it could happen...that would spice up the ensuing storyline even more). I'd love to see someone sans the commercial pedigree the above mentioned competitors have win the Royal Rumble (Say, Evan Bourne? Or maybe Kofi Kingston?). The WWE can tweak things in such a way, later on, to make the novice winner lose his title shot- or the title itself- at some point before, during, or after Wrestlemania. If only to make things less predictable, if only to make things less clear cut. After all, in the Sports Entertainment business, innovation, beyond all the pyro and star power and gimmicky stunts, is everything.

The only thing that's left for me to do is to stay glued to YOUTUBE, or get pay-per-view. With Vince McMahon returning to television in two weeks, anything's bound to happen. With the WWE being the way it is, anything that can, or cannot, happen, might as well be written onto tablets of stone, because this here is a realm wherein dreams are precast and aspirations are part of scripts that boast of a personal duality that cannot be found in any other competitive sport.

As ridiculous as it can all be, it all does make sense in the end.

Were you entertained? Were you entranced?

If you were, then, I rest my case.