Artest-y?

by Migi

Yes, that man in the photo above is NBA superstar Ron "The Tru Warrior" Artest, not a protege of Dr. Dre.

(I'll quit it with the puns. I might get punched in the face for yapping.)

According to reports, the former NBA Defensive Player of the Year has agreed, in principle, to moving zip codes from Sacramento to Houston. Rockets superstar Yao Ming has voiced his concern about the combustible Artest moving to Texas, and rightfully so.

Remember the brawl in Detroit? Remember the fallout with the fans in Indiana? The ballhogging in Sacto? As superb a perimeter defender as Artest can be, and as potent a scorer he can be, both in the post and out on the perimeter, Houston grabbing #93 still ought to be a cause for worry, but then again, there are some plus points to the recent acquisition.

Look at the Dallas Mavericks, another Texas-based NBA franchise that has been on the cusp of greatness over the last few seasons. Dirk Nowitzki is the probably the best international player the league has ever seen. Josh Howard is a former all-star capable of lighting it up for 20 points on any given night. Jason Kidd is a future Hall of Famer whose point guard skills are second-to-none. Why are they the praxis for this article, then? Because the team noticeably lacks toughness, an edge, and heart.

The Houston Rockets, pre-Artest, found themselves in a similar hole. McGrady is a great all-around talent, and so is Chinese sensation Yao, but then both have temperaments that seem more passive than likely to light a fire under anyone. In comes the Tru Warrior, and in comes 20 ppg, 9 rpg, defensive intensity, and yes, a "scare factor" the Rockets could never get out of TMac, or Yao, or well, Dikembe Mutombo, even if they did turn back the clock on Deke 10 years or so.

Ron-Ron is a consumate tough guy who, when playing within the proper system, and for the proper mentor (it's a good thing Rick Adelman is the Rockets' coach, because having anyone less than him or, maybe Phil Jackson, would have implied Ronnie possibly painting the town red all over again), can help intimidate opponents while his two all-star cohorts pound the opposition into submission. By getting Artest for 2 draft picks, and antiquated spitfire Bobby Jackson (who, ironically, will be returning to the team he had his best individual basketball years in), Houston has undoubtedly hit the jackpot.

This may very well be another Pau Gasol-to-the-Lakers scenario, but then hey, how far the red and white go will, ultimately, be dependent on health.

Yao's knees.

Tracy's back (along with, uhm, his shoulders and thighs).

Artest's head.

Get the picture? Until they can net a 100% clip on the triumvirate mentioned above, then, season ticket holders can continue marking off May-June as days they can be away from the posh Toyota Center. Swipe me up for seven playoff games, max, say they.

Exit the first round, then depending on how things shape up from there, maybe then we can talk NBA championships. They are in the West, after all, and so long as the West stays the way it is now, it's going to take a lot more than a bounce or two to come out alive.

Then of course, once you get to the East, there are the Celtics to worry about.

And we all know just how much Artest detests storied franchises on the East coast known for their rabid fans.

All in all, though, good luck to you, Ron Ron. Let's all wish him the best, but, just to be sure, let's all brace ourselves for the worst.

No guts, no glory.

___________________